With all the news and dedications that have been circulating on my Facebook page the past few days, I guess I just wanted to put down my feelings too. No - I wouldn't be talking about the good or the bad that was done or the decisions made, but just my emotions.

Perhaps it is that for most of my friends or people surrounding me, we are on the better side of things that we are able to say such words - to be grateful and appreciative for how far we have come and how we are able to live the life we have. Throughout life, I have always questioned myself why can't everyone see the positive side of things? I sometimes wish that everyone will think positively of each other, and life will perhaps be so much easier and happier for all. But of course, it ain't going to be this way and there will always be people hating because we all have different views and experiences. When I think that he, our founding father, wouldn't be around for more than a countable number of days, the emotions I feel are sadness, fear and gratefulness.

I am sad, because he is after all the one who built us up to where we are today, 50 years since independence. I am sad, because despite everything, he is still a 91 year old man - only that he has sacrificed all of his life into building this nation for the 3.34 million Singaporeans, who some are not even appreciative for. I am sad, because I generally find it hard to handle deaths. Every death that I hear of from distant relatives and even friends' families, I feel sad. And if even I, someone who unfortunately have not even met and I believe won't be able to meet Mr LKY in person, feels sad, what about his family? When he really passes on, even his son, our Prime Minister, will still continue to dedicate his life to our nation, without even being able to take time off to moan for the loss of his very own father. How difficult will that be for the rest of us? We are after all all humans. 

I am fearful, because I just feel that everyone (and I mean every other nation) will be watching us as our founding father leaves us. Although my friends have laughed at me for fearing that something bad will happen to us, just let me be alright (I am paranoid this way). Few years ago, I remember thinking to myself that the day that LKY passes away, I will shed a tear. These emotions haven't changed a bit today. A part of me can't believe that the day will probably be sometime soon - I think just like how sometimes I can't believe time passes so fast, how I will be graduating in a year, how I will then be working for the rest of my life, how my parents are growing older....it just scares me.

Finally, I am grateful, because without him we wouldn't be here today - and for those who have so much hate in them, if they were to just calm down and think - I think they too will see that we owe this nation to him. Is it only Singaporeans who don't see it? We, who have been living on this island all our lives, should know better. Although yes I do also always think that our education system is screwed up, and that even if the MOE tries to change things now, I honestly think it is too late because how hard must it be to change the mindset that you put into all our heads since primary school - that academics are everything, then that only doing finance, business, medicine, law etc are the best, and that the arts, sports, social sectors are 'very difficult paths to make it in'. This debate will have to be for another time but let me go to the point that I want to make - it is this education system that turned us to be as successful as we are today, to be able to think as we are today, to be even able to challenge politics and the government. Just like how when people lose a competition, they are always grateful for the experiences gained. I feel that this is similar - we don't always have the best on our hands, but we certainly have something to be grateful for to this great man.

The foresight and character that Mr LKY has, it is hard for anyone else to have - but at least his courage and hardwork - I hope every Singaporean will have more of. And here I don't mean courage to go against the leaders, to blindly protest or criticise, but instead have courage to work hard for what we believe in and continue to build this nation together.

So, to Mr LKY: As much as I wish for you to be able to witness Singapore's 50th Birthday, to be able to see how much your nation has grown, and to be able to celebrate with all of us, I wish that you are happy with what you have done in this lifetime, and know that many of us are happy and grateful for all that you have done.

Update: Mr Lee Kuan Yew has unfortunately passed away on 23 March 2015. You will always be in our hearts and we will carry on your spirit. We hope you are reunited with Mrs Lee, your pillar of support, and both of you will continue looking over us. Your love inspires. Your leadership inspires. You inspire our nation. Rest in peace, our father.

Thank You, Mr Lee Kuan Yew.